“The Only Constant in Life Is Change.”
– Heraclitus
Making Time for Respite after Herculean Efforts
On a Friday afternoon in early March 2020, I gathered my team of ~30 high-potential, high-performing strategy professionals in a large conference room that allowed for social distancing. Not knowing what would unfold, we distributed cell phone numbers, put our desk phones on call forwarding, and sent each employee home with a laptop. Despite sounding nimbly prepared, not one of us could have imagined what we had in store in the next 15-months.
Equally unfathomable was how our jobs would change. A large proportion of our portfolio, while important, was also not entirely urgent in the midst of a global pandemic. Reporting up through the same executive leader, our Chief of Staff, I reached out to the leader of our Emergency Management & Response team offering our help. Overnight our efforts pivoted to supporting a full-frontal assault on our battle against COVID-19 with NYC at the epicenter.
“Nurse Tracey” by Tim Okamura
Now here we were 15 months+later, haggard, weary, and short-staffed given turnover due to relocations. The work of our portfolio has come back in full-force, with much of the COVID-reporting and vaccination work not yet rolling off. How could I shore up my team’s resilience? What could we do to support each other as we processed the shared, yet uniquely personal, traumatic experience we’d just lived through? How might I bring this high-performing team back together physically for the first time in over a year to reflect, recenter, and relaunch?
Returning to the beating heart of my leadership model, I anchored my planning in the core belief, “It’s not about you. It’s about them.” I asked several members of the team what might help. I listened intently to what he or she felt was most necessary. The wisdom of the group prevailed.
What the team told me they needed was time for authentic dialogue about what we’d each lived through. They asked for the opportunity to engage in an open exchange of best practices to regain resilience and tactical applications of self-care. The team was craving a “booster shot” of purposeful inspiration for the work to come.
How could we shore up our resilience? What could we do to support each other in processing the shared, yet uniquely traumatic experiences?
Space, Community, and Tools to Heal
A year prior, a member of the team, Trupti Kotadia, had shared with me how impactful the book, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help that Actually Works” by Dan Harris had been for her. She’d read it once a year for the last several years when she needed to regain her center. A relatively new member of the team, Trupti was also a bit star-struck to learn that the “Dr. Brotman” referenced by Dan Harris was a senior members of our executive leadership team.
After reading it months earlier at Trupti’s recommendation, this was a book I had tucked away as a great potential team read. It seemed well-aligned with the event’s objectives. I felt that Dan Harris’s snarky New York humor and skepticism would land well even with those who might not consider meditation “their thing.” I personally really stink at it, even though I appreciate it’s value! Harris provides a refreshing perspective as he shares his story of how meditation helped him balance out his turbo-charged career. Utilizing the associated 10% Happier guided meditations, coupled with relevant prompts, the team engaged in weekly 1:1 partner-based work leading up to the event discussing what helped each of them hold their center this past year+ (e.g., long-distance running, cooking, gardening, music, etc.).
In doing so, we cultivated a culture where it was OK to recognize that “Sometimes we are not OK.” Anxiety, insomnia, depression, trauma, grief, and isolation were acceptable to talk about, educating and encouraging each person to take advantage of the mental health resources available through the company as needed. Normalizing a prioritization of mental health allowed discourse around the myriad of ways people could tap into their favorite hobbies, forms of exercise, and self-care practices to bolster resilience and wellness in meaningful ways.
We cultivated a culture where it was OK to recognize that “Sometimes we are not OK.”
Going out on a limb, I asked Dr. Brotman if he’d be willing to be interviewed on a couple of questions related to the premise of the book and what it took to be a successful leader within our company. An inspiring executive and psychiatrist, he willingly agreed. Knowing how much it would mean to her, I asked Trupti to conduct the interview. She was absolutely fabulous, as were his candid and insightful responses.
Identifying & Taming Our Inner Voice
Dr. Brotman’s perspective as a psychiatrist was fascinating when asked about taming one’s “inner voice.” Dan Harris describes his as “his inner asshole.” Dr. Brotman was quick to point out that while a critical inner voice is common, it isn’t the same for everyone. Dr. Brotman described his own inner voice as “Eeyore,” catastrophizing and considering worst-possible scenarios.
Reflecting on my own inner self-dialogue, this past year I came painfully aware of my own thought loop of “never enough” and preoccupation with failure. A friend recently called me out on it and point blank asked me, “Mary, have you ever failed at anything?” I paused, “I failed my driver’s test on the first time.” She quickly inquired, “And do you now drive?” Of course, the answer was yes. I went on to acknowledge that make mistakes all the time, but at a scale that are pretty recoverable and that I can learn from. She matter-of-factly concluded, “seems to me there is no data that suggests you are going to fail at this.” Bashfully, I laughed at myself, “Well, if you put it that way.”
If not kept in check, our inner voice can serve up critiques that put our worst enemies to shame. Gaining awareness of your own thought patterns is the first step in resetting and recording over the loop with more productive and empowering messages in the mixtape of our minds. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if you would talk to your best friend or a child in that way. In the inherent isolation of the past several months, it seems that our inner voices have been empowered with a megaphone. As a team, we talked about how loving oneself is extending that same compassion innerward and to one another, giving yourself and your teammates permission to be human and therefore will inevitably make some mistakes.
The Corporate Athlete
Knowing my audience was a group of talented, highly ambitious high-potential, high-performers, I wanted to continue to put these conversations in context of how taking care of oneself will actually enhance performance and ultimate career progression. I pulled out on a Harvard Business Review article that I find inspiring, The Making of a Corporate Athlete by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, to add credibility to that statement.
The overarching premise that Loehr and Schwartz make (gleaned from insights gained in working with world-class athletes over two decades) is that “corporate athletes” have to train in similar systematic, multilevel ways to sustain high performance over the long haul of our careers. Unlike professional athletes, we do not get an “off-season” and our careers span oftentimes over 40 years.
To sustained high performance, we must consider the whole person and integrate performance management across not only the mind, but the body, the emotions, and the spirit as well. Loehr and Schwartz dub this hierarchy the performance pyramid, with each of its levels profoundly influencing the others. A failure to address any of our capacities compromises performance. This year’s Olympic games drive this home more than ever.
After discussing the article and these concepts, I gave the team some quiet time to complete an Energy Quiz adapted from a book by the same authors, Loehr & Schwartz, called “The Power of Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal”. Tallying up responses to questions across the four domain’s, a person could determine if he or she was headed for a full-fledged energy crisis. The tool helped highlight which domain(s) needed some more attention. To conclude this section of the day, I asked each teammate to open his or her phone and write a note to self outlining one to three targeted actions that could be made over the next 90 days to bolster energy management.
Learning from One Another
Another member of the team, Lana Lim, came up with the idea to do a round-table discussion at the team event. Ahead of time she used polling software to collect topics anonymously of what the team really wanted to get out on the table (i.e., preventing burnout; sustaining excellence; bolstering resilience; managing up; juggling work-life priorities). Grouping these topics thematically, she asked members of the team to kick-off the dialogue for each topic and facilitated input from anyone who wanted to contribute a thought or best-practice.
We closed this section of the day by having four team leaders share their personal framework for intentional leadership and unpack their core beliefs, each different and highly impactful. This work was the culmination of a leadership training they had done recently, but not yet declared to the team. The combination of the straight talk and inspiration of these character-driven leaders digging deep, being vulnerable, and leaning into purpose served as the booster shot we all needed to authentically connect and get excited about the work ahead of us.
If not now, when?
Serendipitously a few days prior, I was scrolling through Facebook Time Hops. For no particular reason, that day in history had 8 different memories spanning 15+ years of life from moving to NYC after college,completing my Master’s, returning from my honeymoon, my first pregnancy, the birth of my second child, buying our first home, graduation for a company-sponsored leadership program, and my thoughts one year ago coming out of Wave 1 of COVID-19.
As I scanned through these series of posts, I saved screenshots. I thought about each of my employees, many of whom were currently going through one of these chapters of life. I used the timehop memories to repeatedly pose the thought-provoking question, “If not now, when?” When would they choose to prioritize taking care of themselves and solving for winning both in the workplace and living well-rounded lives. I heard from many that it was one of the most impactful moments of the day. As leader, I was tacitly acknowledging that life was complex and beautiful and that it was ok to bring your full-self to work.
If not now, when? When would we prioritize taking care of ourselves and solving for winning both in the workplace and living well-rounded lives.
To close the event, each team member received a handwritten note from their direct manager acknowledging the personal contribution he or she made during the past 15 months. As leaders of people, we simply cannot say “thank you” enough for those individuals on our teams. COVID-19 and 2020, in general, caused us all to navigate through some choppy waters. Our workforce went above and beyond amidst the most trying of circumstances – professionally and personally. We concluded the day with some refreshments and much laughter in Madison Square Park.
With this era increasingly dubbed as “The Great Resignation,” do not hesitate to check-in with the greatest asset your company has – your people. Be there for them. Make sure they are ok. Let them know how valued they are as individuals, first and foremost. As leaders, we working on sacred ground with the ability to impact not only the course of people’s days, but the trajectory of their lives.
