As my soundtrack for the day, I listened to music of the Notre Dame Folk Choir, which was such an important part of my college years. One piece in particular guided my steps, which is “Set Your Heart on the Higher Gifts” (lyrics below) by Steve Warner. This has long been a favorite of mine and was sung at our wedding by a group of our bridesmaids.
On this Camino, I’ve found myself focusing on the virtue of hope more than I have in the past. Faith and love, generally, I’m good with and do not tend to stray too far from. Particularly as an adult, when things get really hard, I have often struggled with holding onto hope. Doubling down on that virtue going forward!
Insights from Day 1, Sarria to Portomarin
As I embarked on the first day of my journey from Sarria to Portomarin (15 miles), I found myself reflecting on three chapters of my life that shaped who I am today: my childhood, high school years, and college experience. This walk was not just a physical journey, but a metaphorical one, taking me back to the moments that defined my early years and made me who I am today.
Using a simple framework I learned years ago based on the work of Daniel Pink on the four innate human drives, I am journaling my reflections each day on the following four questions:
- What did I accomplish? (Drive to achieve/acquire)
- Who did I walk with? (Drive to bond)
- What did I learn? (Drive to learn and grow)
- What did I stand for? (Drive to defend)
Being a data geek, I now have a super comprehensive Excel spreadsheet that outlines these quantitative and qualitative insights that I’m referencing as I write posts for each day.
Accomplishments fade with a twenty-year perspective
What was surprising to me was how silly it felt to be documenting what I accomplished in each of these chapters. Perhaps it is the nature of accolades in our youth, and I distinctively remember how important each was to me at the time. Dear younger me, chill out a little bit. It’s all going to be okay!
As you can imagine, the accomplishments within these three chapters focused on my academic progression as I moved from high school to college to graduate school and trying my best to do my best in each of these settings. Performing well at my extracurricular activities also made the list. There is a quote by Abraham Lincoln that says, “Whatever you are, be a good one.” I suppose I’ve always tried to live this sentiment as one of my Kingsbury core values, likely instilled by my Grandpa Harley and reinforced by my parents.
The sweetness of lifelong friends and family
In contrast, I was really struck as I thought about the people who walked with me through these three formative chapters and how many of these people continue to be absolute rocks in my life. My Mom and Dad have always been my biggest fans, and their belief in me has been a cornerstone of my resilience. This walk was a tribute to them and to the power of family.
I also found myself thinking through some of “the villains” of my story during these early chapters, and how even when I had some individuals who felt like they were trying to tear me down, I had in equal or stronger measures, incredible adults who were working to protect me and build me back up. Maybe it was because I was walking for hours out in the woods, but it reminded me a little bit of how in nature, if ever you encounter poison ivy, look for jewelweed, its natural antidote, which is inevitably growing somewhere nearby. A few individuals that deserve a special shout out from being my jewelweed include: Maria William Kennedy, Fr. Michael Parotta, Steve and Michele Warner, and Karen Schneider Kirner. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Additionally, the unwavering support of my family and close friends, most formed during these chapters, has powered me through my adult years since. Given that I had seven hours of walking that day, I used the opportunity to pray for each of these friends, prayers of thanksgiving as well as offering up any intentions the individuals shared with me prior to the trip.
I also started on my Mom’s side of the family, the Wilebski’s, and worked my way through the family tree, praying for each individual from my grandparents through my youngest second cousins. My Aunt Cindy Rath was particularly on my heart today and I felt her walking with me for a stretch in spirit. As someone now in their 40s, my perspective thinking about Auntie Cindy dying at 50 from brain cancer reminds me never to take this life that we’ve each been given for granted!
Lessons Learned in these chapters
Lessons harvested from these chapters include:
- Faith: My faith has been the cornerstone to my resilience and ability to withstand trials.
- Family: My love of my family means everything to me.
- Friendship: My love of my close friends and the support they provide powers me through my days.
- Perseverance: The importance of not giving up, even when faced with challenges.
- Hard Work: The power of hard work and its role in achieving success cannot be understated.
- Authenticity: Being yourself is crucial, and it’s important to stay true to your values.
- Fitness: Fitness and cardio are essential for mental health and overall well-being.
These lessons have shaped my character and guided me through life’s challenges, making me the person I am today.
Reflecting on My Values
As I walked, I thought about the values I stand for: supporting those targeted by bullies, embracing a growth mindset, practicing gratitude, and cherishing my family. These values have guided me through life’s challenges and have been the foundation of my character.
The Marigold: A Symbol of Strength
The flower of the day, the marigold, holds a special place in my heart. Given to me by Zachary for Mother’s Day each year during Elementary School, it symbolizes the power, strength, and the light that lives inside each of us. Scattering marigold seeds at the foot of a cross in Portomarin and under my Dad’s tree in our yard in NY before I left was a way to honor these qualities.
The journey from Sarria to Portomarin was more than just a really long walk; it was a journey through the memories, values, and lessons that have shaped my life. It was a reminder that no matter where we go, the essence of who we are and the love of those who support us will always guide our steps. 15 miles in the bank!
Buen Camino!
Set Your Heart on the Higher Gifts – Steve Warner
Set your heart on the higher gifts, on the things that come from your Maker in heaven. These three gifts are all that remain: faith, hope and love; and the greatest is love. If I speak with the tongues of the living, and of angels, but speak without love, I am only brass without song, an empty noise on the wind. And if I understand ev’ry mystery, having wisdom, but think without love, Had I faith to scatter the hills, I am nothing at all. And if I should renounce all my riches, feed the hungry, give over my life; Without love my profit is loss, my caring finds no reward. Set Your Heart on the Higher Gifts (Steven C. Warner) © 1992, 1994
